I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
