what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize