I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
