Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize