You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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