East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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