come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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