If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
