everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
