I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
