I just saw a hot homeless man
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
