No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize