Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
