I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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