Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
