hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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