3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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