therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
