Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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