I think i peed on brittanys purse
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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