I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
this is an emotional support booty call
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize