found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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