I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
