got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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