lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
