Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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