can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
