Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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