I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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