don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
