any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
