You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
