yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize