4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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