Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
