Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
