census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
