i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
