New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
