i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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