I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
