we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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