Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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