Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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