I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize