i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
