My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
