i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
