we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
