you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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