My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
