im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
