How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
