my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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