I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
