I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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