So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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