can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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