Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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