Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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