Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
