If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
