everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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