I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
we're so committed to being not committed
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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