Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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