just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
3 2 1 whiskey
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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