Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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